鄉愁之外Beyond the Homesickness (1997 – 98)

1997年初我們一家四口移居加拿大的維多利亞。初到之時我被鄉愁緊緊的包圍，那裡一個朋友都沒有。雖然語言沒有問題。但我卻用一種被放逐的悲情把自已孤立起來。也常常帶著深深的自憐獨自散步。這年元月的最後一天傍晚，信步來到住家附近的小海灣，空氣夠淒寒的。遠處，灘上怵然入目的是成堆的漂流木，任海水日夜沖刷也回不了植根的故鄉。若不是母親大地棄絕了他，何緣漂泊若此？於是我寫了﹕

漂浮木
所有的漂浮木都曾被土地棄絕
或被災難咒詛
海又用狂暴剝除皮層
溫柔的鹽殺死心臟
當綠色的榮光蕩向遠古
枝枒之上不再有鳥兒歌唱
所有的漂浮木都屈辱的存在
披戴著無法褪去的蒼白

冬去春來，那個地方的春天美得無法想像。夏天的花草也毫不遜色。秋天的大色塊更是震撼！這些都把我的鄉愁壓縮到極小的角落。不必太過放縱，那些鮮活的精靈就悄然躍上畫面。於是我開始了「鄉愁之外系列」。

When my nuclear family immigrated to Canada in 1997, I was friendless in Victoria. Feeling like an outcast, I isolated myself in roaming alone with self-pity. One evening in the last day of January, I walked to the nearby Margaret Bay. With great astonishment, I saw driftwoods scattered on the shore in the twilight. So, I wrote a poem with empathy that night:

Driftwoods
Casted aside by mother land or cursed by calamity,
All driftwoods go vagrant
Surging waves stripped away the bark, and
Salt killed its heart tenderly
When the glory of green glided towards the ancient,
No bird singing on twigs, then
Only humiliation and unfading faintness remained

In spite of the homesickness, the amazing beauty of the coming seasons confined my nostalgia to a surprisingly small space. All the brilliant colors spring to life on the canvas with ease. So, the “Beyond the homesickness “ was then created.

97-01, 紙本對開